Random, Yet Heartfelt Thoughts

It’s been heard all over the world; the violent act in Aurora, Colorado.  I just read the names of the 12 people who died in the shooting. The youngest being a six-year old girl and the eldest being a fifty-one year old man.  One of the victims was celebrating his 27^th birthday that day and would have celebrated his first wedding anniversary today. Oh how I ache for his wife (as well as all the rest of the families).

There is a wonderful blog being passed around Facebook (I even passed it on) from a Christian woman who was in Theater 9 at that time. She went with her two daughters to see the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises.  It is her take on the event as well as her incredible, increasing faith in God through their ordeal.

Here’s the link if you haven’t read it yet:

http://aminiatureclaypot.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/so-you-still-think-god-is-a-merciful-god/

After reading Marie’s blog, I asked God yesterday, not in a doubting way but in an inquisitive way: “Why did you create us? Why did you create all of this if bad things like this happen?”

He answered. “Love. Because I love all of you.”

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” 

John 3:16 NIV

In Marie's blog, she writes: “God made man in His image with the ability to choose good and evil. Unfortunately, sometimes man chooses evil. God is always good. Man is not. Don't get the two confused.”

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 

Romans 12:21 NIV

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” 

Romans 12: 9-10 NIV

And then God showed me something and then it just....clicked.

Why do we have children? Because well, we’re just supposed to?  Because that’s the next thing to do in our walk of life?  Because we don’t want to buy a dishwasher? Because we want a legacy? Because we want to love them? Because we want to nurture them?

Why bring children into a world that is filled with hate, murder, rape, racism, etc.? Because there is still good somewhere in this world. Because there is still love somewhere in this world.

We bring children into the world, knowing that there is going to be hurt, heartache, sadness that will at some point enter into their lives. We don’t want it to; but realistically, in an imperfect world with imperfect people, it will happen.  We give them the tools as they grow up to help them stay on the right paths in life but eventually the decision of what to do and where to go, is theirs.  We can point them in the right direction but ultimately, they choose the road to walk down.

Free will.

That’s what God has given to us. Free will. He wanted us; He didn’t need us but He sure did want us.  Love can’t be forced.  It wouldn’t be considered love then.  He doesn’t want to be loved by us because we HAVE to love Him because He’s FORCING us to love Him. He wants us to love Him because we have CHOSEN to love Him; to FOLLOW the path He has for us. It’s a path that always leads to a promise fulfilled, whether it be here on earth or in heaven.

One thing that God didn’t promise was that life would be easy. Again, we’re imperfect people who have flamed an imperfect world.

In the book of John, Chapter 16, Jesus is speaking with his disciples.  Jesus is preparing them for the time when they will no longer be with him (he will be later crucified) and the verse is applicable to us now as much as it was to the disciples then.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  

John 16:33 NIV

When I was in a young adult’s group about ten years ago, we had someone visit our group.  He brought a puzzle.  Not knowing what the picture of the puzzle was, we each took only one piece out of the two hundred and something piece puzzle. There were about fifteen of us.

We each went around the room and described what our piece of the puzzle looked like; try to figure out what the big picture of the puzzle was. After we all gave our thoughts and suggestions, the visitor showed us the completed puzzle picture. We were WAY off.

And that little exercise has stuck with me for over ten years. Why?

Because it’s exactly the way life is.

We are each our own piece to this HUGE puzzle. I only my piece and perhaps a few of those around me but we’re just one little part of it. We don’t know what the big picture is; why things happen the way they do. We can’t see it all.

I’ll say it again, as I did in a blog I wrote a few weeks back (to read that blog, click here).

I don’t understand why things are the way they are. I don’t pretend to.  And that is why I choose to have faith in God; who has every little piece of the puzzle laid out in a completed picture that I can’t even imagine or comprehend.  God has the road mapped out; I just have to CHOOSE whether to walk His road or one of my own.  I didn’t do very well in my younger years when I chose my own road so I think I’ll stick with His. He created the heavens and the earth; so I know He is more than capable of mapping a road for you and me that will lead us to a place we couldn’t dream up even if we tried. And it will be a place that we can enjoy for an eternity.

“Faith is CONFIDENCE in what we HOPE for and ASSURANCE about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 NIV.

Much Love,
Meredith

Good Girl

On the second Saturday every month, In Step has a birthday party for the children who have birthdays in that month.  A large cake is made, ice cream is bought, juice is stirred and the bubble containers are topped up.

All the children became FREAKISH when it’s Happy Birthday Day.

We get all the children onto the veranda and seated (hopefully) quietly.  The aunties go down the tables and wash the children’s hands as we cut the cake into about 140 pieces (includes staff working on that day), dish them onto the plates along with a scoop of ice cream. One of the kitchen ladies pours the juice into the cups and we are set to go.

 The list is read of whose birthday it is in that month and each of the children come up to the “front” of the veranda, as we all cheer, clap and shout, “Yeah [insert name here]!” When they are all lined up, we sing Happy Birthday to them.

Then the birthday kids serve the rest of the children their cake and ice cream.  Once the plates are licked clean (yes, our children do that!), they get served their glass of juice. After the juice is done, they go outside and we come running out with bubbles in hand and blow bubbles as the kids chase (sugar high has kicked in at this point) the bubbles to see who can pop it first. It’s such a fun yet, tiresome morning.

This past Saturday was July’s Happy Birthday Day.

The bigger kids have a good reach on the bubbles so they usually get the majority of them as they take off through the sky. And usually the two year olds are just left in the footprints of the bigger ones.  So I like to get down to the younger ones levels and blow bubbles right at their height and watch them chase the bubbles, laughter exploding from their lips.

Every time one of the little ones would catch a bubble, I would yell, “Good girl/boy [insert name here]!” with a huge excitement. So for example, little Sean caught two bubbles and I yelled, “Good boy Sean!”

After awhile, one of our younger girls, Theresa, who’s four, caught on to what I was doing. But rather than cheering on the little ones for catching bubbles, she would cheer me one.

I would blow bubbles and suddenly I’d hear from Theresa, “Good girl Mama Mary!”

For the next 10 minutes, every time I blew the bubbles, the sweet voice of Theresa would keep me going: “Good girl Mama Mary!”

Who knew being encouraged by a four-year would be so awesome.

Much Love,

Meredith

Life & Death: Both are Hard to Swallow

Facebook is bombarded with births of babies.  Friends and family back in North America having babies.

Life.

It’s beautiful. It’s miraculous.

It’s difficult. It’s temporary.

I always love when a new life is born.  And yet sometimes I cry. 

I have longed for children, to be a mom, for more than three quarters of my life. No seriously, I have.  It’s a sweet story as to why but I’ll save that for some day.

On Tuesday, In Step got two babies: three-month old Adam (who is named after our friend Adam Pollock who is working with In Step right now with construction) and three-week old Austin (who is named after a team that is here – they leave today – and they are from Austin, Texas).

Baby Adam is a preemie.  His mother left him at the hospital after giving birth and never returned.  It’s believed that she thought he was going to die, being a preemie and so she just ran.  It even took a long time for the hospital to contact the children’s department that they had an abandoned baby there. Why? Who knows but history shows that they too assume the babies in that condition will die. And when they don’t, they then call the children’s office.

When Baby Adam was born, he weighed 2.4 pounds. When we got him on Tuesday, he weighed 3.5 pounds. He’s SO tiny for a three month old. In fact, he is smaller than Austin (who is only three WEEKS old).  But he looks like a fighter; he’ll pull through this. He’ll fall in love with formula and have the sweet leg rolls that everyone always loves on babies.

Austin has a similar story although he wasn’t a preemie. His mother left him at the hospital too. It’s not known as to why and it probably never will be.

But these baby boys are so little and so gorgeous.  

Life. It’s beautiful. It’s miraculous.

Yesterday (Wednesday), In Step got a newborn baby girl. They named her Lynn (after a Kenyan friend of Jeff and Carla). She literally was a newborn. She was born yesterday morning/early afternoon.  Her mother gave birth to her and left her in a maize (corn) field. A passerby found her and took her to the police station. She was released by the hospital, the police and the children’s department into In Step’s hands. When she arrived at In Step yesterday evening, she was only hours old.  And after being at In Step for only a few hours, she died in the arms of one of the members of the Austin team.  She went from arms on earth to arms in Heaven.

Life. It’s difficult. It’s temporary.

It constantly aches me; it breaks my heart on so many levels.  There are women in this world, myself included, who LONG to have babies and who can’t. And yet there are some women in this world who have babies with no problem and yet throw them away like a piece of garbage.

It’s hard not to judge; it’s hard not to be angry. Not at God but at these women who don’t understand what an amazing gift they’ve been given.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5 NIV.

“People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ And he took the children in his arms, placed his hand on them and blessed them.”  Mark 10:13-16 NIV.

I don’t understand why things are the way they are. I don’t pretend to. If I did, I’d be lying and foolish. But I have faith.

“Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 NIV.

Much Love,
Meredith