Trusting In Him

Sean and I have been on an incredible journey with God these past few months.

He has broken us in places where we needed to be broken. He has mended us where we needed to be mended.

He has done things that have increased our faith even more in Him.  He has shown us that He is the almighty Father and that we can trust Him with all things: big or small.

In Joshua 1, Moses has already died and God has chosen Joshua to lead the Israelites.  I would personally be a bit hesitant on leading the Israelites because, well, they weren’t exactly great followers and in fact, were very difficult to deal with most of the time.

God promises Joshua that He will be with him (“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5). 

The Creator of all things promises to be with Joshua and to never leave him.  What a comfort!

In Psalm 9:10, David sings:  “Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.”

We have been trusting in Him, seeking Him, and obeying Him.  And how awesome has this journey been with Him.

In August, God brought two little boys into our lives: Brison & Kevin. He asked us to take care of them for a little while; He asked us to be His hands and hug them.  He asked us to love on them.

“Here we are.” We said.  He trusted us to care for these boys and we trusted Him to provide what was needed in every way.

And He did. He began to provide what would be needed for the boys to stay with us.

Brison and Kevin came into our home just over eight weeks ago.  They were both severely malnourished; they smelled terrible (who knows when they each had their last bath) and were incredibly small for their age.

Five-year old twins, Brison could wear 9-12 month old clothes.  Brison could walk and slightly potty-trained. Kevin could wear 0-3 month old pants while needing to wear 12-18 month old t-shirts because of his distended belly. Kevin could not walk; his legs were extremely weak.  He was not at all potty-trained either.

Just over eight weeks ago, we welcomed them into our home. 

Brison (August 21st, 2013)

Brison has grown taller; he’s definitely having a bit of a growth spurt.  He has learned to dress himself, brush his teeth and go to the bathroom (without accidents most days). With the “home schooling” that I have recently started, he has learned to count to 10. He has learned the sounds of different animals. He is beginning to learn his A, B, C’s and shapes.

Brison came to us with a nasty fungal infection on his head; it’s now gone and his head is healed and clean.

Kevin (August 9th, 2013)

Kevin has grown taller also. He even noticed it a week or so back when his feet could finally touch the foot rest on the high chair. Kevin has learned to dress himself (the odd time he puts two legs in one leg hole – but who hasn’t done that) and brush his teeth as well.  And he walks now. He walks.  It brings such great joy to my heart that he walks now.  And he goes to the bathroom by himself.  He undresses himself, climbs up on the toilet and climbs down when he’s finished. 

Kevin’s distended belly has decreased. His once skinny and weak legs now have chunk and muscle on them.  Kevin has learned to count to 10 and the sounds of different animals. He too, is starting to learn his A, B, C’s and shapes.

We pray for and over these boys every day.  We give thanks to God for these boys every day.  We give our God the glory for these boys and the strides they have made, every day.

Bob the Builders at a Fall Party (October 31st, 2013)

Car Ride (November 4th, 2013)

Kevin walking like a pro (November 16th, 2013)

We have taught the boys how to pray; how to give thanks to God for what He provides for them.  They both even try to be the first one to pray at every meal.  We want them to know God and know that when God promises to never leave or forsake them, they believe Him and trust Him.

For them, you and me to say, “But I trust in You, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’” Psalm 31:14

It's a Wonderful Life

I just turned forty.  Where did the time go?  It seems like a lot of people take some time at this age to reflect on their life.   I don’t know why, but forty seems to be a good age to do that.

Growing up, I was the smallest kid in class.  Even when my mom registered me for school, the lady behind the counter thought that we were registering my older brother.  I don’t have an older brother.  I was never the really popular one either.  I was extremely shy.  It would take me a good hour to even warm up to my grandparents, and I saw them at least weekly.  I am sure that my shyness is what held me back from making friends, but what could I do.  I was bullied.  Usually it was the older and much bigger kids who would come up to me and say, “We saw what you did!  We are taking you to the principal’s office!”  Even though I had done nothing wrong, they would pick up by my wrists and ankles and carry me kicking and screaming to the doors of the school, then put me down and walk away laughing.

In eighth grade my family moved and I went to a new school.  I was able to make a few friends there.  It was pretty easy, because there was only one class for grade eight.  However, once I hit high school, and everybody dispersed into his or her own stream of classes, I once again became a loner.  I would sit with people through lunch, but outside of school I sat at home.

When I reached grade twelve, I got invited to my first party.  At that party, something clicked.  I started to come out of my shell a little.  The more I hung out with my friends (some from grade eight and a few new ones), the more I came into my own.  My sense of humour grew by leaps and bounds.

I didn’t always hear from my friends when I graduated high school.  Once again, we were developing our own paths.  Due to some choices in my twenties, I lost touch with my friends and basically became a loner again.  I had other friends in church, but I really just hung out away from most people.

In my late twenties and early thirties, I reconnected with my high school friends.  The amazing thing I discovered was that they received me back into the group, with no judgment.  I fell back into friendship with them as though no time had passed.  I connected with their children, and in some ways became like an uncle to them.

I had good friends in my church as well.  People, who were able to walk with me through difficult times, encourage me and help me again break out of my shell a little more.  I was a member of the worship team, drama team, and youth group leadership.  I even spoke a few sermons on a Sunday morning.

In my mid thirties, I moved to Kenya.  I was able to make new friends.  These are people who work in the same area, locals, and visitors to the different ministries that we have been involved with.  Some people I hear from.  Others, I don’t.  Some of us try to communicate, but it doesn’t always happen.  Some people I hear from on a regular basis.

Sometimes I wonder about if I have made any kind of impact in the lives of people.  I know how much these people have impacted me.  They have all played a part in who I am today.  All of these people have taken the time to show me who I can be, and who I am.  But, did (or do) I make a difference for them?

This year, for my birthday, my beautiful and amazing wife, put together a scrapbook for me.  This is a big deal on so many levels.  She doesn’t do crafts.  She doesn’t like to do them.  She also doesn’t think that she is talented enough for such things.  I think she is mistaken.  She did a great job.  She hand stitched the binding.  She chose fabric and patterns to make the cover.  She cut card stock for the pages.  Then she did something amazing.

She contacted my family and friends and asked them to send her pictures, and stories and words for me.  I received little blurbs from all kinds of people.  She received pictures of times in my life, I had forgotten.  There were times that had significance for both the people who sent them and me.  From my family, I received messages about how they have noticed the changes in my life from being extremely shy, to becoming less shy (I am still very introverted).  From my friends, they all spoke to how much I mean to them, and the impact that I have made on their lives.  From people I consider to be my mentors, they told me how they have seen me develop and grow.

In all of these messages, people took the time to say how much I mean to them.  I was not expecting that at all.  When I opened the book and realized what it was I broke down and cried (heck, I am crying even as I type this).  I knew just how much people around the world loved me.  That is the best birthday present anyone could receive.  It is the gift that keeps on giving.

In those times when I feel like I am losing touch, and am unable to connect with people far away, I can turn to this book and realize how people see me.  Ultimately, I will be able to see how God sees me.

Let me take this opportunity to say “Thank you” to everyone who was able to contribute to my birthday present.  Your words, pictures and love mean the world to me.  You have all touched me deeply and shown me, again, who I am.  I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life.

To Meredith, you are truly amazing to put this together for me.  This gift blows my socks off.  The hours you put into it, and the amount of love you poured over it cannot be equaled.  Thank you for being in my life.

I can truly say that this is a wonderful life that I have been given.  I have a wonderful wife, and I have wonderful friends all over the world.  I am glad for the reminders.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

Hebrews 3:13

The Reality of it All

I have been trying to write this blog for awhile and I start typing but then delete it all. How do I express myself in a way that will help people to understand, to get behind us and other ministries in Kenya and support this life here and know that it IS our call, our passion to be here?

I, Meredith, have been in Kenya for almost eight years.  I have seen and experienced more in those eight years than I did in the twenty-eight years of living in Canada.

Why?

North America has bad things happen. Children are abandoned, starving, beaten, raped and dying.  I know that.  Kenya has bad things happen. Children are abandoned, starving, beaten, raped and dying.  I know that too.

I think the difference is, and knowing that the economy and government services are struggling, is that North American government still helps their own people, in some way or another.  When bad things happen to children in North America, someone is held accountable for it. The justice system isn’t always the greatest there but when bad things happen to children, the public HATES it and fights for them.

I know in many States that if a mother can’t care for her child any longer, she can drop that baby off at a hospital or police station or a fire department, with no questions asked, no charges laid.  It’s a safe place; it’s a place where a mother knows that her child will get taken care of. 

In Kenya, there really no safe place and so many mothers are left with the choices of abandoning the baby in a maize (corn) field, the hospital, the side of the road or a dump.  They do this with the hope that their baby will be found and taken care of by a passerby or taken to a children’s home where the baby will likely be fed three meals a day, have nice clothes on his/her back and get an education. Things the mothers believe they would never be able to provide. 

There is no real assistance from the Kenyan government and if there was, it’s not going into the mothers’ pockets.

The mothers also cringe at the thought, and quickly brush it from their minds, that their child will die where she abandoned him/her.  Hypothermia, wild dogs, sepsis or starvation.  To think about it aches too much.

And then there are the mothers who don’t want to be found out that they desire to abandon their babies and so they drop them down thirty foot outhouses where the baby likely drowns in the filth that lies below.  Never to be heard from or seen again.  Only a small percentage of those children are found alive.

There are mothers who are forced to give up their children because their first husband ran away with another woman and the new husband loathes the fact that the children aren’t biologically his and so he beats them, enslaves them or tells the mother to send them away.  This also happens vice versa too.

There is a lack of education here for new mothers. They give birth at home, in the hospital, in the field and that is it.  Especially a first time or young mother needs wisdom and direction.  New or young mothers don’t know what to look for; what is right or what is wrong.

For anyone who has been following my status updates on Facebook this past week, you’ll know that I have been visiting the local district (government) hospital.  It’s a sad place. It’s dirty, cockroach filled, understaffed and overcrowded.  In the children’s ward, there are almost always two children to a bed plus their caregivers.

The caregivers usually consist of either a mother or grandmother who looks exhausted and overwhelmed. And almost all of them having that burning question in their minds, “How on earth am I going to find the money to pay for this hospital bill?” A bill that could be no more than $50 to $100 at the government hospital.

On Friday of last week, my friend Kim and I went to the hospital to visit twin boys who were brought there by a social worker who met the boys in a nearby slum area.

When we arrived, we found out that only one of the twin boys, named Kevin, was admitted into the 

hospital. Apparently he is in worse condition than his brother. 

Kevin

Kevin is five years old. He is still in size one/two diapers; he is the size of a one and half year old. He cannot walk and can only stand on his very skinny, weak legs when he is holding on to something or someone.  After a minute or two, his legs become shaky because he doesn’t have the strength or muscle in them yet.

His face has sores on them; his teeth are rotting; his belly is very distended. 

He laughs and talks and tells stories. 

He sees people walk into their ward area and demands to know who they are and who they are the mother of.  Everyone that has a bed around him laughs, being entertained by this little boy.

Kevin’s mother died awhile ago; their father and step-mother took them in. They weren’t wanted there and so the two boys paid the price. They weren’t being fed properly and were being beaten.

At one point during our visit with Kevin that day, the social work, asked Kevin if he wanted to nap. He said that he didn’t want to in fear that his dad would come and beat him. Broke our hearts.

Katherine & Valerie

On the same bed as Kevin is a sixteen/seventeen year old mother, named Katherine. She is holding on to a very sickly looking baby. We find out that the baby, named Valerie, has just turned one. She is long in length but super skinny.  She can barely muster up a cry.  She has no teeth, not one single tooth.

Katherine didn’t know that it wasn’t normal for a baby not to cry and because the baby didn’t cry, she didn’t feed her very much.  Valerie, we learned, although does suffer from malnutrition, is also suffering some sort of heart condition. Katherine and Valerie can’t be released from the hospital unless she is immediately transferred to a referral hospital in another town less than two hours from Kitale. She doesn’t have the $50 plus whatever the costs of the tests will be to check on Valerie’s heart.

So she sits in the hospital.

Yesterday when Sean and I went to bring food for Kevin and the others in their section, I saw a new baby on the bed next to Kevin’s.  She was gorgeous.

Her name is Cynthia. We were told by her grandmother that she is seven months old but the size of a three or four month old.  She sucks her middle and ring finger (just like another Cindy Lou I once knew!).  She’s fussy so I go and sit with her and stroke her cheek; she immediately quiets and just looks at me.

My heart melts.

The mother to Cynthia is in school. She is in grade eight. The grandmother feeds Cynthia milk when she can get it. She knows that she is small for her age.

Cynthia has a chest problem. She is on antibiotics and will be in the hospital for a few more days.  I just want to scoop her up and bring her home.  I want to love on her and feed her until she gets those cute little baby rolls.

These stories are only about two beds in that big ward. Two beds.

I was talking with a friend today and I said, “Sometimes we wonder if we are even making a dent of a change/difference in this place.”  She said, “I know what you mean! There is no end to it.”

And no, there is no end to it, at least not on earth.

But this is when we know that we can push through, get down again on our knees, and ask God for the wisdom, the strength, the resources, the ability, the peace, and the direction so that we can keep being His hands and feet in this place.

I want to be a voice for these children. I want to be a shoulder and an ear for these mothers and grandmothers.  I want to help lead them to a Father who supplies all their needs in a way that only He can supply.

It is overwhelming but in those moments of being overwhelmed, Kevin laughs and tells a story.  Cynthia stops crying and falls asleep.  Valerie looks more alert and healthy.  And I feel Jesus making my arms long enough and big enough to hug them and growing my heart big enough to love them the way He loves them.

Sean & Kevin

The Joy of Bubbles

Each month we celebrate the birthday of each child that was born during that particular month in one big party.  Today was such a day.  For those of you unfamiliar with the way we celebrate birthdays at In Step, we call each child up and announce the age that they are turning.  When everyone has been called, we sing “Happy Birthday” to them.  The “birthday” boys and girls, who are old enough then serve cake and ice cream to the rest of the children, then get their own.  Then, we go outside into the yard and the adults (Mama Mary, Mama Carla, Madam Beth Ann and me, usually) blow bubbles for the kids to chase and see who can pop them.  Usually a little one gets knocked down in the excitement, but no one gets seriously hurt.  The next wave of bubbles usually makes a kid forget any offense committed against them.

There is one little guy named Fred, who just loves bubble time.  He runs around chasing the bubbles laughing the whole time.  Fred has a great laugh.  It is a laugh that comes from deep within his soul.  It doesn’t take much for Fred to get that laugh going either.  Any fun play activity can set him off.  It has gotten to the point where the other kids don’t notice, or pay attention anymore.  That is a sad thing.

It is a sad thing, not because the other kids have lost interest in the bubbles.  They have lost interest in Fred’s laugh.  There is innocence to it, and for them it is just another occurrence.  It is just Fred being Fred.  But, what if it was something more?

I just finished reading Rob Bell’s new book “What We Talk About When We Talk About God.”  Love him or hate him, Bell generates thought and discussion about Christianity and faith.  In the book, he talks about looking past the mundane and seeing God in everything.  In the West, a lot of us live in the mundane.  We forget to look beyond the moment and see that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.  In most circumstances, we get up, do our work, go home, go to sleep, and repeat and repeat and repeat.

If we blow bubbles for kids, it is just blowing bubbles.  We don’t participate in the enjoyment of them.  We don’t often marvel at how they float, sometimes out of our grasp and hover over our heads, and at the last minute change direction and come back to earth so that we can pop them. Almost like they are playing a game with us.

Children have a sense of wonder at so many things, and we adults take them for granted.  Eventually kids start to take them for granted, the way the rest of the kids at the home have taken Fred’s laugh for granted.  They are no longer entertained by it.  They don’t laugh with him anymore.  They don’t roll on the ground with him.  What if Fred’s laugh contains the presence of God?  What if God is laughing through Fred to teach us that we need to be enjoying the small things?

I hope that Fred never loses the joy of bubbles.  I hope that his laughter will always come out in the simple things of life.  I hope that we can teach the kids to once again see the sacred in the mundane.  I want to learn to find God in everything.  I want to see him behind every corner.  I pray that you will see the wonder in simple things.

Next month I want to post a video of Fred’s laugh from the next “Happy Birthday”.

Happy Birthday Happiness

This is Gilbert.  He just came to In Step on Wednesday (the 10^th). 

This morning, he came to me with big tears in his eyes and said in Swahili, “Mama Mary, I want to go home.” 

I knelt down and gave him a big hug and told him to just wait some time and that for now, In Step could be his home.

Today was Happy Birthday Day at In Step.  It is always loads of fun for the kids. Cake. Ice cream. Juice. Bubbles.

Philip, one of our other boys and Gilbert’s classmate, was with us when I was hugging Gilbert. I asked Philip to explain to Gilbert what happens on Happy Birthday Day.  Philip was so happy to fill Gilbert in; his face was animated, his arms flailing, his eyes wide with excitement.  The more excited Philip got, the more excited Gilbert got.

All the kids gathered in the veranda. I called all the April birthday kids up to the front.  We sang Happy Birthday and then we handed out the cake and ice cream.  I caught a glimpse of Gilbert at the table and he had the biggest smile on his face. Cake and ice cream.  I think today was his first time ever having ice cream. I could see as he took a bite/slurp of the ice cream, his face scrunch up from the cold of it.

After cake and ice cream and the juice, we went outside for bubbles. Baba Sean, Mama Carla, Madam 

Beth Ann and I went out and blew bubbles as the kids chased them around to pop. 

Gilbert was having a hay-day. He had the biggest smile on his face as he chased around with the other kids, trying to be the first to pop a bubble.  After bubbles were done, some of his classmates were showing me their somersaults, cartwheels and jumps. I would clap and cheer and say, “Good job so-and-so.”

Gilbert shouted in Swahili, “Mama Mary; look at me!”  So I looked and he did a cartwheel. I cheered and clapped for him.  Again, “Mama Mary, look at me!” More cheering and clapping.

I asked him, “Gilbert, are you happy now?” 

His answer, “Yes, Mama Mary; I am VERY happy.”

And off he ran to play. 

Nothing a little cake, ice cream and bubbles can’t help. 

A Whole Lot of Stuff...

Oh the weather outside...

Rainy season is in full effect here in Kenya.  It rains every day now.  Thankfully, the mornings are hot and sunny and by the afternoon, it’s gloomy, grey and cold with either a few sprinkles or a torrential downpour. 

I don’t mind the rainy season, well except for the mud part (which includes walking in the mud, getting the car stuck in the mud, mud covered feet and mud covered clothes) and the part where it takes a few days longer for your clothes to dry out on the line.  I don’t mind the “cool” days; it’s an excuse to light a fire, make a nice hot chocolate and wrap myself up in a warm, fuzzy blanket and curl up with my sweet husband on the couch.

A whole bunch of people...

This year, In Step has quite a few teams coming, which is exciting.  The kids always enjoy having visitors and being loved on.  It’s just that many more hands to hold, arms to be hugged with and fun times to share.

The last weekend of June, we have a team coming from Sean’s and my home church in Canada visiting for two weeks.  We can’t even describe how excited we are about them coming.  Like I’ve said before, it is always such a gift when family/friends from back “home” come and visit. It brings a little piece of Canada to us. Plus one of the team members will be staying for a few months. Yay Karin!

One hundred and twenty-five kids...

In Step picked up their 125^th kid today. His name is Gilbert and he’s four years old.  We don’t know how long he will be at In Step for as it depends on his mother’s court case.  It is not a case of abandonment or abuse on him.  His mom wants her son back, once she is cleared of charges.  If she is not cleared of the charges, Gilbert will stay at In Step.

We had a massive flu bug go around In Step a few weeks back.  It was a messy flu bug to say the least.  It swept through all the age two and under babies first and then went to a few of the older kids and then stopped. A few of the adults got sick; it was a nasty bug.

Thankfully, everyone is healthy and the home seems to be back to normal now.  Well as normal as it can be with 125 kids running around.

(IM)Patience....

On a personal note, Sean and I are still (im)patiently waiting for a letter from the Ontario government.  I contacted the Canadian Embassy (as they’re the middle man for us) and they haven’t received anything yet.  To know that we’ve done pretty much all we can, it’s difficult to wait on one more thing.  One more thing and then we can hand in our paperwork.  Oh, the wait.

We have a bin of clothes of baby’s clothes; we have a high chair. We have a baby carrier; we have a playpen.  We are anxious to meet and hold our little one.  It takes a lot of patience though to not have a crib built, to buy things to decorate his/her room. 

We don’t know if we will have a him/her. We don’t know if he/she will be a six-week old, a six-month old or a sixteen-month old. We just don’t know so it makes it more difficult to “plan” but no matter what the gender or the age, he/she is going to be our sweet little child.  So won’t you continue to join us in prayer over this whole adoption process?

Prayer Requests:

Our adoption process

Finances for projects at In Step (dorm, veranda, etc.)

Sponsorship of In Step kids (check out: http://www.rehemainstep.com/getting-involved/donations-sponsorships/)

Health of all the kids, staff and volunteers.

Much Love,

Meredith

Kenyan Election Article

IEBC orders repeat polls in five wards

The electoral commission has ordered repeat polls in five of the 1,450 wards around the country due to irreparable errors on the ballot papers.

Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) chairman Ahmed Issack Hassan said the commission had called off County Assembly ward elections in Nyabasi West and Goke Haraka Wards in Kuria East and Bunyala South, Gwasi North and Samburu North Wards.

“We have been forced to call off elections in these areas because of mix up in the ballot papers. In some cases we have missing names of candidates while in other cases names have been interchanged,” Mr Hassan revealed.

Speaking at a media briefing at the Bomas of Kenya Monday, Mr Hassan said the repeat polls would be conducted on March 11.

“In the interest of fairness and observant of its constitution mandate the commission has rescheduled elections in such county assembly wards to March 11, 2013. Our returning officers and presiding officers have been notified of this fact and candidate’s agents in respective wards notified,” Mr Hassan declared.

Mr Hassan also said that in some of the areas where the polls have been called off the erroneous ballot papers had missing political party symbols and  candidates' pictures.

The commission also expressed concerns over reports of failed poll books in several polling centres around the country.

Mr Hassan announced that where the machines had failed IEBC officials had been instructed to use printed versions of the poll books.

The IEBC boss called on Kenyans to keep vigil over the process to ensure fairness and integrity prevailed.

The printed versions of the poll books also had captured photographs of the voters in all the polling centres around the country.

"As of now the challenges posed by the poll book although predictable and largely addressed remain a matter of concern to the commission and necessary remedial measures have been taken and results so far indicate marked improvement in the performance of the devices."

Mr Hassan said that despite the technological problems the commission was still determined to deliver a free and fair elections and appealed to Kenyans not to worry about the few hitches reported.

The commission also announced the elections had experienced insecurity in some parts of Kenya citing incidences in Mandera where an explosion erupted.

In Garissa, he said fighting erupted in some parts while in Mombasa violence was reported in Changamwe constituency where armed thugs raided and violently killed five policemen.

“The response of security agencies has been commendable so far. The commission wishes to reiterate its appeal to the people of the country not to be cowed or intimidated by acts of lawlessness and wayward behaviour intended to cause despondency and disenfranchise the electorate,” said Mr Hassan.

Taken from: 

http://elections.nation.co.ke/news/IEBC-orders-repeat-polls-in-five-counties/-/1631868/1710766/-/ja3fuwz/-/index.html

Kenyan Elections

The Kenyan elections are being held on March 4^th; a week from tomorrow.  

As most of you are aware, the elections five years ago, didn’t go very well.  Thousands of people were killed and thousands more became displaced from their homes.

For the past few months, we had been hearing mixed messages about what people think will happen during these elections.  Some had said that Kenya learned its lesson from the previous elections while others had said, they have prepared themselves because of the previous elections. 

As the US embassy said, “Prepare for the worst; hope for the best.”

And that’s what we’ve done.

We have (almost) stocked up on necessary items as we don’t know if the transport of food and other items will be unable to get to nearby cities, let alone our little town of Kitale. 

Things have already started to heat up in areas around the country.  Here’s just an article on one incident (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/22/world/africa/neighbors-kill-neighbors-in-kenya-as-election-tensions-stir-age-old-grievances.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0):

Neighbors Kill Neighbors as Kenyan Vote Stirs Old Feuds

By JEFFREY GETTLEMAN

 MALINDI, Kenya — In a room by the stairs, Shukrani Malingi, a Pokomo farmer, writhed on a metal cot, the skin on his back burned off. Down the hall, at a safe distance, Rahema Hageyo, an Orma girl, stared blankly out of a window, a long scar above her thimble-like neck. She was nearly decapitated by a machete chop — and she is only 9 months old.

Ever since vicious ethnic clashes erupted between the Pokomo and Orma several months ago in a swampy, desolate part of Kenya, the Tawfiq Hospital has instituted a strict policy for the victims who are trundled in: Pokomos on one side, Ormas on the other. The longstanding rivalry, which both sides say has been inflamed by a governor’s race, has become so explosive that the two groups remain segregated even while receiving lifesaving care. When patients leave their rooms to use the restroom, they shuffle guardedly past one another in their bloodstained smocks, sometimes pushing creaky IV stands, not uttering a word.

“There are three reasons for this war,” said Elisha Bwora, a Pokomo elder. “Tribe, land and politics.”

Every five years or so, this stable and typically peaceful country, an oasis of development in a very poor and turbulent region, suffers a frightening transformation in which age-old grievances get stirred up, ethnically based militias are mobilized and neighbors start killing neighbors. The reason is elections, and another huge one — one of the most important in this country’s history and definitely the most complicated — is barreling this way.

In less than two weeks, Kenyans will line up by the millions to pick their leaders for the first time since a disastrous vote in 2007, which set off clashes that killed more than 1,000 people. The country has spent years agonizing over the wounds and has taken some steps to repair itself, most notably passing a new constitution. But justice has been elusive, politics remain ethnically tinged and leaders charged with crimes against humanity have a real chance of winning.

People here tend to vote in ethnic blocs, and during election time Kenyan politicians have a history of stoking these divisions and sometimes even financing murder sprees, according to court documents. This time around, the vitriolic speeches seem more restrained, but in some areas where violence erupted after the last vote the underlying message of us versus them is still abundantly clear.

Now, the country is asking a simple but urgent question: Will history repeat itself?

“This election brings out the worst in us,” read a column last week in The Daily Nation, Kenya’s biggest newspaper. “All the tribal prejudice, all ancient grudges and feuds, all real and imagined slights, all dislikes and hatreds, everything is out walking the streets like hordes of thirsty undeads looking for innocents to devour.”

As the election draws nearer, more alarm bells are ringing. Seven civilians were ambushed and killed in northeastern Kenya on Thursday in what was widely perceived to be a politically motivated attack. The day before, Kenya’s chief justice said that a notorious criminal group had threatened him with “dire consequences” if he ruled against a leading presidential contender. Farmers in the Rift Valley say that cattle rustling is increasing, and they accuse politicians of instigating the raids to stir up intercommunal strife.

Because Kenya is such a bellwether country on the continent, what happens here in the next few weeks may determine whether the years of tenuous power-sharing and political reconciliation — a model used after violently contested elections in Zimbabwe as well — have ultimately paid off.

“The rest of Africa wants to know whether it’s possible to learn from past elections and ensure violence doesn’t flare again,” said Phil Clark, a lecturer at the School of Oriental and African Studies in London. “With five years’ warning, is it possible to address the causes of conflict and transfer power peacefully?”

Spurred on by Kenyan intellectuals and Western allies, Kenya has overhauled its judiciary, election commission and the nature of power itself. Dozens of new positions, like governorships and Senate seats, have been created to ensure that resources flow down more equitably to the grass roots, an attempt to weaken the winner-take-all system that lavished rewards and opportunities on some ethnic groups while relegating others to the sidelines.

But in places like the Tana River Delta, where the clashes between Pokomos and Ormas have already killed more than 200 people, the new emphasis on local government has translated into more spoils to fight over. And there are nearly 50 governor races coming up across Kenya, many of them quite heated.

“The Orma are trying to displace us so we can’t vote,” said Mr. Bwora, the Pokomo elder. “They have burned our villages, even our birth certificates. How are we supposed to vote then?”

The Orma accuse the Pokomos of doing precisely the same thing, right down to the burning of birth certificates.

On the national stage, two of Kenya’s most contentious politicians — Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto — are running on the same ticket for president and deputy president. Both have been charged by the International Criminal Court with crimes against humanity stemming from the violence last time. Mr. Kenyatta, a deputy prime minister and son of Kenya’s first president, is accused of financing death squads that moved house to house in early 2008, slaughtering opposition supporters and their families, including young children.

He could quite possibly be elected Kenya’s next president and find himself the first sitting head of state to commute back and forth from The Hague, potentially complicating the typically cozy relationship between Kenya and the West.

There is a growing perception among many members of Mr. Kenyatta’s ethnic group, the Kikuyu, and Mr. Ruto’s, the Kalenjin, that they must win this election in order to protect their leaders from being hauled off to a jail cell in Europe, which is raising tensions even higher.

Most analysts here feel this election will be turbulent, though some argue it will not be as bad as last time.

“Things are different,” said Maina Kiai, a prominent Kenyan human rights advocate. For instance, he noted, it was the Kikuyu and Kalenjin who fought one another in the Rift Valley in 2007 and 2008, but now many members of those two groups are on the same side because their leaders have formed a political alliance.

“There may be new arenas of violence,” Mr. Kiai said. “But I don’t think the extent of violence will be the same.”

There is also a keen awareness of how much there is to lose. The Kenyan economy flatlined after the turmoil of the last election. But now it has recovered mightily, spawning a dizzying number of new highways, schools, hospitals, malls, wine bars, frozen yogurt stores, even free samples in the supermarket — evidence of Kenya’s position on this continent as home to a deep and booming middle class.

Many nations in this region depend on Kenya, as demonstrated by the economic chaos caused downstream during the last election when mobs blockaded Kenya’s highways and sent fuel prices spiking as far away as the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Another safety valve may be the courts, which are now considered much more independent, one of the biggest achievements since the last election. Kenya’s new judiciary is led by a former political prisoner and widely respected legal mind, Willy Mutunga, the chief justice, who said he was threatened this week.

The hope is that if any election disputes arise between Mr. Kenyatta and the other front-runner, Raila Odinga, Kenya’s prime minister, who says he was cheated out of winning last time, Justice Mutunga will step in — before people on the streets do.

But the Tana River Delta remains a blaring red warning sign, and there have been suspicions that political figures are deliberately fanning old disputes, in this case over land.

One leading Pokomo politician, who was an assistant minister, was recently arrested and accused of incitement, though the case was soon dropped. The allegation echoed the International Criminal Court cases, which assert that behind the ground-level mayhem in 2007 and 2008 were political leaders who incited their followers to kill for political gain.

Up and down the crocodile-infested Tana River, Pokomo and Orma youth are now patrolling the banks with spears and rusty swords. The result is a grim, sun-blasted tableau of ethnically segregated but parallel villages mired in the same poverty, misery and fear.

So pray for us in Kenya. Pray for the politicians of Kenya. Pray for the people of Kenya. Pray for us serving here in Kenya.  No one wants to see a repeat of what happened five years ago. I know I sure don’t. 

I will continue to update as best as I can on how things are going on before, during and after the elections.

Much Love,
Meredith 

Visit to Canada

On Tuesday morning, Sean and I visited Canada. The trip was short; it was only for three hours. And then we left again.

Okay, we didn’t actually get on a plane and fly over to Canada for three hours.  We went to the Canadian Embassy in Nairobi.  Sean and I needed to go to the Embassy because we need a letter from the Province of Ontario and the Canadian Embassy stating that both of them agree that we are Canadian citizens and that they are in agreement for our adoption.  It’s a standardized letter but needed by the adoption agency.

As we drove toward the Embassy, there was a drop-off lane that had Canadian flags leading up to the entrance gate.  I turned to Sean and said, “I’m so excited to be on Canadian soil; even if it’s only for an hour.”

We went through a bunch of security; we had to turn in our cell phones.  We saw the tennis courts and basketball courts (but didn’t see the pool).  I don’t think these luxuries are available for any Canadian who just strolls off the street; I assume it’s for the staff of the Embassy.  Bummer.

We walked to one department of Embassy and were quickly told to go to another department which lead to more security to go through.  When we reached the immigration side, we sat down and waited our turn.  We looked around at the people waiting their turn as well.  We were still the minorities. In the three hours we were there, we only saw two other white people. 

We then finished with immigration and went back to the other department to finish up with them.  As we sat in the comfy chairs, it was so comforting and cool to see the Canadian flag displayed everywhere. It was nice to read books about our Canadian history. It was great to see pictures on the wall of the Rockies, even a York University poster. 

It made me miss Canada a little bit but helped with a bit of the “homesickness” that I’m feeling.  You can take the girl out of Canada but you can’t take Canada out of the girl.  I’ll always have a soft spot and love for Canada.

It’s always nice to have family/friends come from Canada.  Although we can’t go there, when people come and visit, it brings a bit of “home” to us.  And usually family/friends are awesome to bring us things from Canada that we can’t get here or really miss from there. 

We currently have two friends here in Kitale from our church back in Newmarket; they are here through a different ministry but we get to see them.   We have a team from our church visiting us at In Step for two weeks in July.  And one of the team members is staying for three months.  Sean’s mom is looking at coming in the fall of this year too for a visit and hopefully to hold her grandbaby for the first time!

We don’t know when our REAL next visit to Canada will be. Sean and I looked at coming to Canada for a visit in April but just don’t see it being a financially responsible move right now, especially with the adoption stuff going on, among other things.  But God has been so faithful to us; I’m learning to worry less and trust more. J

So if anyone wants to plan a trip to Kenya to visit us, come on over!  We have the room for you.

Much Love,

Meredith

Adoption Paperwork Update

We have been asked by a few people how the paperwork is going for the adoption so we thought we would put out an update.

The paperwork isn’t difficult to work on or get, it’s just the waiting period of getting them all.  We had a “hope” to have all the paperwork done and in our hands by the end of February so that we could have it submitted to the adoption agency before the Kenya elections on March 4^th. Unfortunately, there are two things that likely won’t be available by the end of the month and so we will likely delay putting our paperwork in until mid to end of March.

We’re not upset, slightly disappointed but not upset.  As one of the ladies said in bible study last week, “It’s just part of God’s plan to be perfectly orchestrated so that you get the baby He has specifically chosen for you and Sean.”

Ah, yes.  God’s plan. Not mine.

I just can’t wait to hold our sweet baby girl or boy in my arms.

Here’s the list of what is needed and what we have so far (check marks indicate what we have - blogger wouldn't let me post it differently):

• ü  Passport copies
• ü  3 full size colour photographs
• ü  Copies of Birth Certificates
• ü  Copies of Marriage Certificate
• ü  Application Forms
• ·         Medical Certificates  (going in the next two weeks)
• ü  One reference from someone overseas 
• ·         One reference from someone in Kenya  (should have in the next week or so)
• ü  Legal guardians letter of consent 
• ü  Consent letters from extended family members
• ü  A report on finances
• ü  Copy of work permits and residence pass
• ü  Letter from employer
• ·         Certificate of good conduct (Kenya)  (will be ready at the end of the month)
• ü  Criminal Clearance (Canada)
• ·         Consent from government authority (Canada) permitting the adoption (going to apply for it soon!)

We’ve already been given a few little gifts for our child.  First we received a baby carrier from a missionary family here.  The day we got it, yes, Sean and I did try it on.  We were so excited.  We’ve been told to put a large watermelon in the seat of the carrier and walk around. That will give us a bit more of a “real” feeling.

Note to self:  go and buy a watermelon.

And the second thing we have gotten is a high chair. A real high chair!  Awesome.  Love it.

And so we wait and try not to buy baby stuff. Yet.  J

If you could all pray for us, it would be so appreciated.  We know that with the upcoming elections and what may or may not happen with them, it will delay things.  But we know that when we hold our baby for the first time, the wait, will have been worth it all and maybe, we’ll forget how long the wait really was.

Much Love,

Meredith

More Valuable Than Birds

During my first year of college, I was poor. I moved away from home to attend school. I lived in a house with four other girls; three of the girls I had gone to high school with.

I had a gotten a job transfer from the A& P grocery store (as a cashier) in my hometown to the city where I would be going to school. Unfortunately with the transfer, I was put on the bottom of the sonority list and therefore, I got the least amount of shifts to work. Most weeks, I worked four hours a week (the odd week, I didn’t even work at all). Not exactly easy for anyone to live off of.

My parents had agreed/offered to pay for my rent ($300 per month) but all other expenses were on me – with four hours a week of pay. It was TOUGH.

There were many weeks where I couldn’t afford lunch and so I would have a piece of toast for breakfast, head to school, be in class all day with nothing in my stomach, and then go home and find what I could scrounge up.  In that first year, I mostly lived off pasta noodles and no name Italian dressing.  That would be my dinner. Every. Single. Night.

I had some friends in school that would randomly bring me or buy me a bagel for lunch and sometimes they would invite me over for dinner just so that I could have one decent meal to eat.

There were times when I didn’t know how I would pay for groceries when I had nothing left or how I was going to pay for my week of toilet paper in the house. 

I would forget that I am more valuable than birds.

During my first four years on the mission field, I lived off of $250 per month.  It was okay to live off of that for the first year because I lived at a children’s home and didn’t have very many expenses.  I wasn’t charged room/board; all I had to pay for was my personal expenses (internet, food outside of what they had to offer and toiletries).  But when I moved to another ministry and lived on the compound, I needed to pay rent, food, transportation, etc.).  It was a stretch when after paying rent, what was left over for the rest of the month of expenses.

I started to remember that I am more valuable than birds.

During Sean’s and my first year of marriage, we lived on a compound with other people.  We had only a bedroom to ourselves and felt constantly watched by everyone.  The compound had a revolving door of teams, interns and regulars.  If Sean and I needed to have a conversation, we had to go to our bedroom to talk. We would constantly get bugged or harassed for giving each other a kiss hello or goodbye that was outside of our bedroom.  

In our first year of marriage, we spent four weeks of that, alone. Not one single person on the compound. Four weeks.

We knew that the best thing for our marriage (and sanity!) would be to move out and find a place of our own. Our financial support was good for living on a shared compound with people but we knew that it was going to be stretched by having a place of our own.  But we were doing what we knew was best for us.

And God provided us with the perfect house...just for us.

We moved in to our home in May of 2010. We hired a day time watchman and a night time watchman.  We hired a lady to come and do our laundry (it’s all done by hand – we don’t have a washer/dryer). We got a guard dog.   All necessities when living here.

The first year of living in that house, by the beginning of the third week each month, we didn’t know how we were going to get groceries or have transportation money to get to/from places we needed to go.  Our money had been spent on necessities.  The expenses increased but the financial support remained the same. 

We had even contemplated not having internet anymore but we realized it was a necessity to us. It was our connection to family and friends back in North America.

We had been invited to a fellow missionary’s home for dinner one night and when we were leaving, the wife handed me a bag. I looked inside and it was groceries (meat, canned goods, fruit, vegetables, etc.).  She just looked at me and said, “God just laid it on my heart that I needed to give you guys these things.”  How did she know? God told her.

We ARE more valuable than birds.

Sean and I are approaching our fourth wedding anniversary in two weeks (from tomorrow).  We are embarking on a new adventure of adoption.  We are also embarking on a new year of our financial support being lowered.

The economy isn’t the greatest right now and we know that.  We know that every one of our supporters is working hard for their families back in Canada and the US and also feeling the pinch in their own personal life too.  And please know that we are forever grateful for each and every one of you who continue to support us (financially, prayerfully) no matter what.

January of this year was our first month with our financial support being lowered.  It was lowered by the amount equivalent to paying for the rent on our home and almost the amount of our night time watchman.

Yes, I admit, I lost a few nights of sleep worrying and then in the middle of the night, God said, “My daughter, read Matthew 6.” 

So I did. And I came to Matthew 6:25-27.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” - Jesus

Sean and I BELIEVE and KNOW we are MORE VALUABLE than birds.

Why?  Because our Daddy continues to provide. We have seen it first-hand. We have experienced it over and over again.

I experienced it in college when God would have my friends bring me food for lunch or there would randomly be $100 in my account on a month when I was hungry.

I experienced it in my first few years on the mission field (pre-marriage) when I didn’t know how I was going pay for groceries every week when living on the compound and then I would check my bank account and there would be a random $100 or $200 in my account.

Sean and I experienced it in our first year of marriage when a missionary friend gave us a bag of groceries from her kitchen or when we would get an email that someone had donated an extra $100 that month to us.

Sean and I experienced it THIS WEEK when we were wondering how/where we were going to work things out, having received less support (the new changes for the 2013 year) and we got an email that there was a transfer in our account of what was needed plus a bit extra.

We have never gone without the necessities.  Luxuries - yes, we have gone without. But necessities – never.

And so we press on with life here (and the adoption!) because we know all this is where God wants and needs us to be right now and we do it without (as much) worry (I’m still a slow-learning human being, remember!). 

Jesus said we are more valuable than birds and He has shown it over and over again. So my mustard seed of faith will just keep on believin’!

I hope you will start believing too.

Much Love,

Meredith