A Grandmother's Love

I, Meredith, had a grandmother that I was very close to.  I could talk to her about anything. We would sit for hours and watch her Spanish soap operas or hockey games (she loved the fighting!).  She made the best Paella and her smile lit up the room.  She was one of the most precious people ever in my life and she knew how to love and I knew how much she loved me. On February 3^rd, 1998 she went to heaven to be with Jesus. 

My Grandma & Me - December 2007

A grandmother’s love is like no other.

Last week, we went and did an assessment on a 52 year old grandmother named Priscilla, who was raising nine of her eleven grandchildren. These eleven grandchildren all have the same mother and father.  The mother died during childbirth of her last born twins; girls who just recently turned one.  The father, after his wife’s death, didn’t know how he could care for his 11 children and so left them with their maternal grandmother.

We heard of this family from a sweet ministry that we are friends with, Mercy Rescue Trust (www.mercyrescue.co.uk).  They currently have the twin girls and it is the grandmother’s desire to be reunited with her granddaughters when they are old enough and can walk.  They were given to Mercy Rescue Trust due to the grandmother not being able to care for them in the way they needed at the time of their birth.

Since One 5 Ministries (O5M) has the Community Based Care (CBC) Program, we decided to see how the ministry could assist this family and eventually have the granddaughters reunite with their grandmother.

When we arrived to the family’s home, we were taken aback by the beauty of the land around them.  They are close to Mount Elgon and the land is rolling with green everywhere.  Banana trees, avocado trees, and guava trees outlined the different plots of land.  Even the family has a nice little plot of land in what looks like a friendly community.

We went in to their one-room mud and stick home.  It was about 10’x20’; it had two couches, one table and one old wooden chair.  There were no beds, no mattresses and no blankets.  It smelled of cow dung because the floors had just recently been smeared with it to smooth it out and apparently, to help prevent jiggers (chiggers).

We found four of the nine grandchildren there plus a number of community children anxious to greet the visitors, especially us white people.  We met a man who we found out is Priscilla’s husband. His name is Peter and he said he was 72 years old.  We also met Peter’s first wife. She looked much older than Priscilla.

As we sat and got the stories of the children, we were told that Priscilla had to send away the other five grandchildren to other relatives. She just couldn’t manage to take care and feed all of them.  Although they aren’t very far away, it broke her heart to know that she wasn’t with her other grandchildren.  The grandchildren that do live with her are Dorcas (13), Purity (11) and twin brothers, Moses and Isaac (3).

The Family

Priscilla told us that she does manual labour to feed the family. Peter is too old to work now so he stays home with the twin boys while Priscilla is out finding work to do.  The family eats only one meal a day.  I can’t imagine what the portions would have been like with five extra mouths to feed daily.

Peter and Priscilla asked where everyone slept at night and she pointed, embarrassed, to a corner where there were about two or three straw mats.  At night, they pull them out from the corner; lay them on the floor and all curl up together to keep warm.

The manager of Mercy Rescue Trust, Jedidah, asked Priscilla if she wanted her twin granddaughters back at some point.  She quickly answered yes, but her fear was that she would be taking them away from a place that she knows they are being provided for. She knows they are getting three meals a day; she knows that they get porridge every day.  And a part of her didn’t want to take the girls away from having better food and a better life.  This grandmother sincerely loves her grandchildren and you could see how sincerely they loved her.

These are the families that I love seeing children in; families that truly and genuinely love the children and want what is best for them.  And families who want their family to stay together.  

As we were getting ready to go, Priscilla told the social worker, Sally, for Mercy Rescue that she wanted to give her a chicken as a thank you for bringing us.  My heart dropped; here was a family who eat only once a day and they wanted to give one of their chickens.  My thoughts were, kill it, cook it and eat it yourself.  However, in this culture, when that is offered to you, you don’t say no. It is an insult and rude if you do.  And so Sally accepted and then we watched as two of the grandchildren and some community children chased down the chicken. Its legs were tied and it was put in the trunk of the car.

We started walking to the car and got surrounded by community children. Sean had the camera out so he took pictures of them and then showed them the pictures. The children were laughing, pointing at themselves on the screen of the camera. 

Community Kids

They loved the camera

I turned to say goodbye to Priscilla and noticed that she had gone back to the house and was returning back to the car with a potato sack about 1/3 full of avocados.  She was giving it for all of us to share.

Our avocados

I wanted to give it back but again, she wouldn’t allow it and so we couldn’t.  A woman, who has barely anything, is still giving things away. Warmed my heart and broke it all at the same time. 

Our prayer is that we can get these four children sponsored through O5M to provide food and other necessary items, including getting some bunk beds made and some mattresses and blankets bought for this family.  Our hope is that we can get this family established and then once the twin girls are ready, they will be going back to their family’s home and Priscilla will be at peace that she CAN provide enough food to include these girls back into their lives.

If you would like to sponsor Dorcas, Purity, Moses or Isaac, please visit O5M’s website http://www.one5ministries.com/sponsor-child/ for information.

In His Service,

Meredith

Empty Nesters

On Saturday, Kevin & Brison moved to their new home at Mattaw Children’s Village (www.mattawchildren.com).  They live with 11 other new brothers and sisters and a new mom and dad.

On Friday, we spent the afternoon with the boys at the club’s pool. We wanted to have a fun last day with them so we went swimming and had soda.  

That evening, during dinner, we talked to the boys about their new home and transition for the next day. All Brison really heard was that he was going to be playing with a bunch of other children; he didn’t really understand what was to come. Kevin on the other hand, knew exactly what was going on. He suddenly became quiet and didn’t really eat much. He would just stare at Sean or me and then he got these big ole tears in his eyes.

We continually reassured them that they did nothing wrong and we loved them very much. We said excitedly that they would have a whole bunch of new brothers and sisters; they would have brand new beds and blankets and a great new mom and dad. Kevin just stared at us, just grunting in agreement, tears stuck in his eyes. It broke my heart.

I had to get up from the table because the tears that were in his eyes were about to stream down my face.

After dinner, the four of us curled up on the couch and watched Cars. They love cars so it was not surprising that they picked that movie to watch. After the movie, we tucked them into bed, said our prayers together, and said good night for the last time.

Saturday was a crazy busy day at Mattaw as it was the opening of the new house that Kevin and Brison would be moving into as well as the birthday for the kids. When the boys arrived, they were greeted by the other children and whisked away.  I would randomly hear a “Mama!” as I walked across the property of either Brison or Kevin wanting my attention or to show me what they were doing.     

At lunch time, I walked into the dining hall to see Lucy, the social worker, who worked on Brison & Kevin’s case. She was how we heard of them.  I went over and greeted her and she got this huge grin on her face and said how surprised she was at the boys’ progress. She was completely amazed at Kevin and that he was walking.  “God bless you, God bless you.” She kept saying over and over again.                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Lucy & Kevin

Shortly after that, we were told that the boys’ grandmother and aunt had shown up to see them.  To see the look on each of their faces as they saw Brison and Kevin for the first time in almost six months was priceless. The grandmother lit up when she saw Kevin walking toward her.  The aunt was absolutely shocked at how “grown up” they looked.

Brison & his grandma

Kevin & his aunt

Kevin & his grandma

Later in the day, everyone onsite gathered in the church where the children of the new home were introduced and presented. There were a few speakers, some songs, a prayer and then a march out of the church, following the new house parents and children to their new home.

The house mom cut the ribbon on the door of the new home and the house parents along with their new children walked into their new home.  And there went Kevin & Brison.

Cutting the ribbon

They welcomed the visitors in and we watched as Kevin and Brison explored their new house.  Then they cut the cake for everyone to share.  As I watched the cutting of the cake and the boys being held by their new siblings, the tears started to roll down my cheeks.  It was a bittersweet, happy and sad emotion.

The next little while, the boys would keep coming by to see if we were still there. They would tell us what they were doing or just come to get a hug.

Brison

Kevin

Sean’s moment of emotions was when he heard Kevin say, “Baba.” and Sean went to answer and realized that Kevin was speaking to his new dad and not to Sean.  That oh-yeah-i’m-not-his-dad-anymore moment. Again, bittersweet, happy and sad moment.

Their new baba and mama

The new family!

When it came time to leave, we pulled Kevin and Brison aside to say our goodbyes.  They confirmed that we were going home to our house while they stayed there. Yes. They asked if this was their new home and if they had a new mom and dad. Yes. They asked if were coming back tomorrow.  No. But we would come back and visit them soon.

We gave those boys great big hugs and kisses, told them we loved them and said our goodbyes.  “Bye Mama. Bye Baba. Nakupenda (I love you)!” as we walked away.

That morning, when getting ready, knowing the boys were going to their new home that afternoon, tears easily streamed down my face. I felt guilt; guilt that I was sad and going to miss them. It sounds weird but I felt like I had this expectation put on me and not by anyone in particular, this expectation that I shouldn’t get emotional or it would be a sign of weakness, a sign that I couldn’t handle fostering a child.

As I was praying while getting ready, God gave me comfort.  There is nothing wrong with loving someone; there is nothing wrong with being there for them, supporting them, or taking care of them. This is what we are to do; this is the body of Christ. There would probably be more concern if we had just said, “Here you go. Here are the boys. Nice knowing you.” And with no emotion attached to it. It would have been more like a job than a relationship.  

The body of Christ isn’t supposed to be a job or a deal, it’s the relationship building, loving and being there for one another. Taking care of and loving on the least of these (Matthew 25) and each other (1 John 4:7).

Although we are empty nesters for now, I don’t see it being for forever.  I have a mama’s heart and these mama arms and a whole lotta mama love, why not share it and give it freely to a child who needs it? Sean has a father’s heart and father’s arms and a whole lotta father love; he too, can share it and give it.  There are many more Kevin and Brison’s here in Kenya. Our arms, our home, and our hearts are open wide for them.

Us with the boys

In His service,
Meredith