Feeling Loved by Lovely Ladies

Sean and I got back from In Step today and this is what our gate and house looked like:

The Front Gate

So Pretty!

I loved it!!

The Front of the House - flowers EVERYWHERE!!!

Are they not awesome???  Melted my heart and brought a smile to my face.

Now I have flowers all over my house. I love it.... 

Thank you so much ladies: Amy, Kim, Julie, Carla, Carrie, Lindsay, Katie, Taryn, Theresa and Jennifer. It meant the world to me.

Love you so much.

Meredith

It's Not Just a Date

Today is May 29^th, 2012.

Today is probably, for most of you, just like any other day. It’s a work day for most of you, a school day for the rest. Or perhaps you are enjoying your maternity leave or your retirement life.

But today isn’t just any other day for Sean or for me.

Today was the due date of our baby. 

I know if the baby had made it to full term, she more than likely would not have been born on her due date but it’s the date she was due, nonetheless.

She? Did I just write she?

Yes.

We obviously didn’t know the gender of our baby as I miscarried too early to know.  When we miscarried, we had been given advice from a few friends that we should name the baby. But we didn’t know the gender. Then perhaps we could find a gender neutral name.  Maybe.

While we were in Canada, someone recommended that we read a book called, “Heaven Is For Real” by Todd Burpo. Todd’s son, Colton, is rushed to the hospital with a burst appendix. They didn’t think he was going to make it but he did. Quite awhile after the surgery and release from the hospital, Colton tells his father about his trip to Heaven, which of course, shocks his father.  He even tells his mom that he met his other sibling in Heaven. The one she had miscarried before having Colton; the one that Colton never knew about.  Colton had told his mom that the sibling had been a girl and she was waiting on a name from them.  Colton’s parents never knew the gender of their baby and so, they never named her.

Then one afternoon, Sean and I had a date. We went out for lunch and got to talking about our baby and I felt really strongly about giving the baby a name. We too didn’t know the gender but when I asked Sean what he thought our baby had been, he had said, “She was a girl. I just know it.” I had always felt in me that she had been a girl as well. So we really thought about a name, looked up meanings to names, etc.  We wanted it to be a special name.

So, we’d like to share with you, the name that we gave to our sweet baby girl....

Hannah Faith Stewart

Hannah – means “favoured by God” or “grace”

Faith – means “belief in God and acceptance of God’s will”

It fit perfectly.  

It gave us an amazing peace and we have been covered in God's grace. It is His will and we accept that for whatever reason He may have. 

It’s not to say that this last month hasn’t been difficult because it has. Knowing that I would be in the last part of pregnancy and yet, here I’m not, is hard. Knowing that there is no baby shower, no crib in the next bedroom, no tiny, sweet clothes in the closet and no hospital bag waiting by the door, is crushing at times. I have cried a lot of tears this past month but the tears, although valid and comforting, have also brought more healing. I have faith in my Father. Some days I can say that my faith feels only as small as a mustard seed but I don't doubt His faithfulness and love toward me. And that His will is beyond beautiful, even when I don't understand. 

I do wonder what Hannah would have looked like. Would she have had my dark and curly hair or would she have had a bit of red in her hair like Sean’s goatee? Would she have had Sean’s beautiful blue eyes or my brown eyes?  Either way, she would have been beautiful.

Someday we’ll meet her.  I wish it were today but I know that there is a someday.

Hannah, although we’ve never seen you, or never held you in our arms or kissed your cheeks, your Mommy and Daddy sure did want you and sure do love you. 

Until we see each other in Heaven, sweet Hannah.

So much love,

Mommy

Sunday Scare

On Sunday afternoon, Sean was in the kitchen starting to wash our lunch dishes. I was in the sitting room (which is a family room back in North America), getting ready to put a fresh coat of clear nail polish on my finger nails.

I had done my right hand first and then went to move on to the left hand. I had the bottle of nail polish in my left hand and the brush in my right hand. I was leaning toward the table to put the bottle down, when it slipped out of my hand.

I looked down to grab it and at the same time, it had landed the right side up on the floor. However, with the lid not being on it and the force of the hit to the ground caused a huge glob of it to go flying straight up and out of the bottle. I was looking down at the time to grab it and that huge glob of clear nail polish landed straight into my left eye.

I screamed.

At first, since he wasn’t in the room, Sean thought that a gecko or a “flying snake” (as I like to call them) had scared me. But then my scream was getting more horrifying and constant. He thought I was electrocuting myself (there’s a reason he thought that – another story for maybe another day – but it wasn’t me).

He came running into the room and saw me bent over in pain, my hand covering my eye. “Oh my gosh! What happened?”

“I GOT NAIL POLISH IN MY EYE!!!”

And like everyone else who has heard this story, the first question was, “What? How did you get nail polish IN YOUR EYE?” (Read above again for the answer!).

Sean led me to the floor and had me lay down. I tried to open my eye and all I could see at first was black. I burst into tears thinking I was blind.

Sean ran and got water and tried to get me to open my eye. It was excruciatingly painful; the burning/stinging sensation was overwhelming. All I could do was cry.

Finally, we got my eye open and I was no longer seeing just black (thank you Jesus!) but everything was very fuzzy.  It was like the nail polish had coated my eye ball (which it probably had).

And so Sean began flushing my eye out with water. The white of my eye was as a red as a Macintosh red apple. I still couldn’t really open my eye; we were forcing it open and my vision was still very blurry.

After about forty-five minutes of flushing my eye out, I started to see a bit clearer. Sean flushed my eye out for another half an hour before I could see clearly.

However, there was still a piece of something in my eye. If I moved my eye to look around or closed my eyes, I could feel it scrapping across my eyeball.  It was not only a nuisance but a painful one at that. I could never quite find it or flush it out. At times it would “disappear” and then it would just show up again if I moved my eyes or blinked (which is A LOT!).

I went to bed on Sunday night with discomfort; my eye had been through a big trauma and it was still really red. I was exhausted and fell to sleep very quickly.

On Monday morning, the alarm went off and I woke up, feeling a bit like a pirate. My left eye was crusted shut. Pretty, isn’t it? And my sweet husband still kissed me good morning. What a blessed woman I am!

So Sean went and got warm water and a q-tip and gently wiped at my eye lashes to remove the crust from them. After about a minute, I could open my eye and I had perfect vision and the piece of whatever that had been in my eye, was gone.

Yay!!!!

It’s now three days later and it’s all good. I can totally see; however, it is still a little sensitive.  I do find myself randomly checking the vision in that eye by covering the other eye and looking out the left eye.

So what have we learned from this experience????

Don’t wear nail polish. J

Much Love,
Meredith

An Overdue Update

It’s been awhile since we’ve sent an update out.

We’ve been to and from Canada and we’ve had friends from our home church, Newmarket Alliance, come and stay with us for about two weeks.  That in and of itself, was amazing.

It’s always so wonderful having family/friends come and visit us overseas.  It’s nice to have a bit of our other home come and visit our life and home here. I think that it gives the people back home a small glimpse or sense as to what life is like here for us. It shows the love for the kids; the love for the people and country but yet, also a small glimpse of the struggles and difficulties that we face.  A few weeks can’t give our family and friends the complete picture but they have a little bit more of a better understanding and when we visit Canada again, they will understand a bit more when we need to be encouraged, fed and rejuvenated.

The rainy season is officially upon us. It rains every single day...oh except for that one day earlier this week.  Every afternoon at In Step, it consists of 109 children trying to release the abundance of energy that they would normally expel outside; instead they’re on the 100ft veranda – all together in one room. Colouring only lasts so long. Songs only last so long. Barney or Sesame Street only last so long. It’s an exhausting time for everyone.

Rainy season also means terrible roads in the community we live in and the roads out by In Step. Sean had a guys’ night here last night and it was supposed to start at 7:00pm but it didn’t actually start until about 9:30pm.  The town council thinks they fix our roads (yeah right!) but when you plough a dirt road and don’t pack it down in the middle of the rainy season, well the road just becomes a farmer’s field. So vehicles were stuck, vehicles stalled out, vehicles were left on the side of the road overnight. But they all had a great time, laughed a lot and have a great story to tell about their night.   I love that the men have guys’ night!!

Rainy season also means random power outages. Well, we always have power outages, even in the dry season. It’s as if there is a rain drop in China, the power here goes out. But the power outages are far more frequent in the rainy season. Like right now, for example, as I type this, the power is out.  I’m just thankful that we do have power, when we have it.  It means I keep a freezer with meat in it; it means I can keep milk and cheese and yogurt (as long as the power doesn’t stay off for too long!).

Sean and I are doing well, health wise.  I haven’t had malaria in almost a month. Yay!!!   Today has been a bit of an emotional struggle for me; it’s Mother’s Day.  I would be due with our first baby in two weeks.  I didn’t think Mother’s Day would be hard (I assumed the due date would be the only hard day) but it turns out, it is a difficult day for me too. 

Tears are healing so I let them flow today. My husband’s hugs are comforting so I welcome them continuously. God’s promise is encouraging so I cling to it always.  

A random update but an update nonetheless.

Much Love,

Meredith